relationship goal: a relationship
So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”. The teacher said “so you’re adopted”. THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.
never let your printer know that you waited until the last minute to print something and you’re in a hurry. they can sense fear
there is no one expecting dick to taste good though. i’ve never ever once met a cis dude paranoid about his genitals tasting weird or salty or sweaty or whatever. but of course pussy has to taste like fruit and whatever. OF COURSE.
i may not be your cup of tea but i’m your 10th shot of tequila
When you fuck something up first thing in the morning
fun date idea: Go down on me while I shop online with ur credit card
I don’t think someone could focus on the internet while I was going down on them.
you over estimate your skill and underestimate the joy of shopping