thebest-memes:

"I live in a conservative/unfunny town, so this type of thing is almost unheard of"

slothblog:

relationship goal: a relationship

i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman:

So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”.  The teacher said “so you’re adopted”.  THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.  

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partybarackisinthehousetonight:

never let your printer know that you waited until the last minute to print something and you’re in a hurry. they can sense fear

kimmi103191:

maraglen:

feistyfrank:

davediddlystrider:

This man is qualified to play as nightwing

This man is qualified to fuck me

I think he is qualified to be a helicopter too

i think hes qualified to dress up as nightwing as he fucks me and then we can ride a helicopter 

tastefullyoffensive:

[mandatoryrollercoaster]

queerhawkeye:

there is no one expecting dick to taste good though. i’ve never ever once met a cis dude paranoid about his genitals tasting weird or salty or sweaty or whatever. but of course pussy has to taste like fruit and whatever. OF COURSE. 

drarna:

i may not be your cup of tea but i’m your 10th shot of tequila

porrimscondomstash:

When you fuck something up first thing in the morning

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brainsludgemissives:

(via Knitting our love by drrecords on deviantART)
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sherlockedgallifreyanofasgard:

hannahbelle-lecter:

whisperingsweetsins:

whenblackwasinvogue:

shego:

she put up a video of her telling miyah that she thinks she’s very pretty without the wig too and that playing dress up is fun but to promise to stay in school

Love this!

Stories you won’t see in the media

#nicki is so protective of young girls#this needs to be underlined more#also she gives them edited versions of her albums#magical girls protect other girls#bless nicki

You can hate someone’s music and love them as a person. This is one of those cases for me.

queerchesters:

arterialspurt:

queerchesters:

fun date idea: Go down on me while I shop online with ur credit card

I don’t think someone could focus on the internet while I was going down on them.

you over estimate your skill and underestimate the joy of shopping

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